The Biggest Mistake: Self-Judgment Instead of Grace

When learning to follow God and obey His commandments, many believers make a critical error: they are hard on themselves. Rather than following the way YHWH leads us—with grace and patience—we often impose harsh judgment on our own spiritual progress. This mistake can stem from basing our righteousness on our obedience to God, which is a dangerous spiritual foundation.

Breaking Free from Spiritual Abuse

I am recovering from spiritual abuse. I was once part of a church where obeying the elders and church teachings was equated with being close to God. This is absolutely not right, and it is not even true according to Scripture.

The truth is far more liberating: When you believe in Christ and are born again, you are immediately saved and given the Holy Spirit. You become a new creation, and the righteousness of Christ is imputed to you at that moment. Righteousness comes by faith, not by what we do.

Righteousness Comes Through Faith, Not Works

Scripture is clear on this foundational truth. First John 3:7 states: "So little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as He is righteous."

Notice the order: righteousness comes first through faith, and then righteous deeds follow as proof of that righteousness. Romans 3:21 confirms this: "But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the law and the prophets bear witness to it. The righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe."

We are justified by faith. We are made righteous and made right in the eyes of God through faith in Yeshua Messiah. What we do is proof of that righteousness, not the source of it.

Learning to Obey with Grace: The Feast of Tabernacles Example

I recently experienced this lesson firsthand during the Feast of Tabernacles. For the first time, I built a tabernacle to dwell in, as commanded in Leviticus 23 and Matthew 8. Growing up in the suburbs and cities, I never learned how to gather branches and construct a proper dwelling. My tabernacle was humble—made beautiful only by candlelight and string lights—but it fell short of what Scripture describes.

This revealed how far removed we are from the way our ancestors lived, the way the Israelites lived. Yet here is the key insight: We obey God as best as we can with what we have.

When the Israelites came out of Egypt and journeyed toward the Promised Land, they could not keep the Feast of Tabernacles fully. They could not reap harvests because they were not sowing and reaping. They could not gather leafy branches because the wilderness had few trees. They were sustained by manna from Heaven. And YHWH was patient with them.

Spiritual Maturity Is Not Knowledge—It Is Christ-Likeness

This is where true spiritual growth becomes clear: Knowing a lot of Bible does not mean you are spiritually mature. Being spiritually mature is becoming Christ-like. It is the development within you of the character of God.

The fruit of the Holy Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness—these are the attributes of YHWH. This is the character of God, and this is what spiritual maturity truly is. It is not being able to quote verses, though we should be able to do that because the Word of God should dwell richly within us.

The most important thing is the development of the character of the Most High within you. This is the oneness that YHWH seeks with us—the intimacy that Yeshua prayed for in John 17: "I in you, you in me, and I in them."

Yielding to the Holy Spirit

When the Holy Spirit dwells in you and is transforming you into the image and character of Christ, you begin to look like Him. That is what spiritual maturity is. To have that transformation, one must yield to the Holy Spirit, yield to the commandments of God, and yield to the will of God.

This requires patience—with yourself and with others. YHWH has been patient with us. He said He would put His Spirit within us and transform us day by day into the image of His Son (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Growing in Grace

I am learning to be patient with myself and to have grace for myself. I am learning to accept my shortcomings and also to accept YHWH's mercy and grace as He teaches me. I am learning to extend that same patience and grace to others who are also learning.

This is what it means to grow in Christ. This is what it means to become like Him. Not through harsh self-judgment, but through yielding to the Holy Spirit and allowing His character to be developed within you.

So if you find yourself being hard on yourself in your walk with God, remember: You are righteous by faith in Christ. What you do is proof of that righteousness. Be patient with yourself. Have grace for yourself. And extend that same grace to others.

Shalom.